As I write this, I am sat outside Pret A Manger eating half of a bacon-chicken-rocket baguette in a little courtyard which reeks of piss. The sky looks heavy and ominously grey, a bit of rocket lathered in Caesar mayonnaise has just hit my lap, and there’s some variety of rouge ectoplasm splattered across my table. I am very much regretting not getting my sandwich ‘to-go’.
Surely I could have picked a more comfortable place to produce a decent first blog post, but no. I chose the place with the worst seating arrangements I could find. The food, on the other hand, is lovely. Well worth it, uncomfortable chairs and alien table-leavings aside.
Tapping my tooth-scraped biro violently against the paper of my notebook, I found myself realising that where I am now is a perfect metaphor for blogging, The awkwardness of where I am sitting symbolises how initially my posts won’t be worth reading. They will be jagged and my writing style will fluctuate and spasm from post to post as I try to produce little articles which might warrant a read.
I’d like to think that the baguette is a metaphor for how delicious my posts will be once I have settled into the routine of blogging. I can write fairly decently, I promise, you just may not see that until about 5 posts in. I beg that you bear with me, you won’t be disappointed!
I have attempted starting a blog many times, all of which failed shamefully. After much thinking, I came to the sorry conclusion that my failure was down to how awkward I find it to literally be typing to myself! Many moons ago, I said “there is nothing more embarrassing than an unread blog post”, and I still definitely agree with that. I’m hoping I’ll gain an audience fast, because I really do feel as though I’m talking to myself.
Anyway, if you do choose to return here after reading this sad excuse for an introductory post, I hope to deliver opinion articles, top 10 lists, reviews, photography, or even some of my bad poetry if you’re lucky. Well, it is nearly Christmas after all. Maybe next time…